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I slipped on a little white lie
2002-09-14 ::: 2:14 a.m.
Disappointed. That is the best description. Frustrated and disappointed. I've seen things that i've never wanted to see. I feel awful. My friend put it the best, "tonight feels so empty." SO fucking empty. I feel like such a fucking void. I'm beyond disappointed. Expectations shattered. Fuck. FUck. FUCk. FUCK. FUCK!!!I tried. I tried the best I could, but this time, the best I could was NOT good enough. I just want to cry. I want to sit on my floor and weep. Where did I go wrong. I knew i shouldn't have. I knew it. But I still went. FUCKME. I was warned, oh, yes, I was warned. Did i heed the warning? of course not. If only I could tear apart the past like a bad snapshot. I FUCKING TRIED!!! but no, it was beyond my control. beyond my hands. i feel so helpless. so out of touch.
it hurt.
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