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2 Rights Make 1 Wrong
2002-08-24 ::: 2:01 a.m.
It's "only" 2.. but i think i'm dying. I hope this doesn't all jumble together and run dry......here goes.I've got a LOT on my mind, but to start.. the fog out tonight is wonderful; absolutely splendid. The way the street lamp attempts to struggle along it's journey from lamp to ground through the millions of tiny water molecules is quite amazing, leaving the shape of it's rays distinctly visible from start to finish. I looked down my street at the dark trees and the occasional light and was filled with a sudden joy and a sense of endless beauty. Life.... so rich in beauty.... anyway.... I've got a lot of things to sort out in my poor head. There are so many things that I go through each day... certain situations that I am encountering that I have never encountered before that are going to require an entirely new response and thought pattern that I am afraid I am uncapable of.... I'm quite scared. I don't know what to do and I don't want to do something that could hinder certain possibilities. The future scares me. I'm going to be twenty in exactly 2 months from yesterday, and I don't know where I'm going, but I'm hurtling towards that unknown destination at a thousand feet per second. Oh, if only I knew what I was doing. I'm way too.. me..... I'm afraid to open up... I'm afraid I'm not capable of giving part of myself out to someone... I want to.. I'm so bloody scared... fuck... I don't know. I just don't know. WHO AM I? (what is wrong with me?)
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